I’ve started a new, kind of scary, chapter of my life. I uprooted and moved to Orlando to live with The Boyfriend. So far it just feels like an extended sleep over but I’m sure that will all change soon.
The reason this is scary is because I have no job. I also missed the deadline for Fall semester at UCF by, like, a day. So look at me with my un-employed, un-enrolled self. *insert mini panic attack here*
I’m doing as much as I can to rectify that – daily job applications, calling places, staffing agencies. Oh my.
Even doing all that, there are LARGE gaps of time that I’m by myself since The Boyfriend is employed. Currently I can unpack but I’m almost done with that. So I find myself with the question of how to fill that time and I find it a bit overwhelming.
I could read, I could go take pictures of the pretty lake outside, I could spend my day marathoning shows on Netflix, I could paint, I could color or draw, I could go through my clothes and get rid of some, I could play the mounds of video games The Boyfriend has, I could scroll through every tag on Tumblr, I could clean, I could take up cooking or research recipes for us to try, I could go get a puzzle to do, I could make a fort, I could sleep all day if I really tried, I could go swimming in the pool, this weekend I can start editing and making YouTube videos. Which door do I choose?
It got me thinking – people at work, people in social situations, they all talk about all the things they would rather be doing, or could be doing if they weren’t tied down by this or that. But how do we choose? Which of those things will I start with? Who knows how long it will take to find a job, so do I simply start a book or do I find some more in depth project that will take me longer and potentially have to stop? The world has so many options and there’s so much potential that once there are no ties, its daunting to try and find what we truly wanted to do in the first place.